Fault?

"They say the best men are molded out of faults, and, for the most, became much more the better for being a little bad."

We're not all perfect; we're not all angels. And that's okay.
Even Shakespeare said that it was okay - and he knows what's up.

Yesterday at lunch, my usual lunch crew was sitting around a table. During a brief lull in the conversation, my friend turned to me and said, "So, Ali, what embarrassing things happened to you already this morning?" We all laughed, as I am notorious for my embarrassing stories. As soon as everyone stopped laughing she looked at me and said, "No really, I'm serious."

I embarrass myself often, and she had every right to suspect that by 12:30 lunch, I already had three embarrassing stories to tell for the day. And the more I think about it, the more I like to think of myself as charming as opposed to embarrassing. I mean, it may not be entirely true, but it gets me through the day. Everyone embarrasses themselves, but I just kind of blow off embarrassing situations. It takes a lot to actual kill my ego from embarrassment. Not that my ego is big, I just know that I'm human. Jason Mraz fell off the stage yesterday. He ripped his pants in front of the crowd. He wrote a hysterical blog entry about it. His attitude about it was to just smile and wave. He knew that it wasn't a huge deal. He knows that he's human.

We all make mistakes. We all have some sort of regret. We all have things sometimes we look back on thinking "Oh, dear, I wish that never happened." But do we really wish that never happened? After all, we're better people for having been a little bad. Yeah, there's sin, pain, heartbreak, mistake, imperfection, or whatever other words you can think of, but there are also lessons. There is also forgiveness. And I find that by embracing mistakes, imperfections, sins, and heartbreak, I am happier. I mean we all change and grow. If you only have wonderful experiences, do we really ever learn? Can you name anyone in your life that only has good experiences, who only ever does good? It's not human nature. And for the millionth time, I will remind you all: We are all just human.

Is it easier to ask for forgiveness than permission? I think so. I'm not encouraging everyone to go out and commit felonies, but I am encouraging self-forgiveness. If you mess up, go easy on yourselves. Allow yourselves to live and embrace being human.

Sunshine?

"This city's made us crazy and we must get out."
80 degrees one day, snowing the next day. Welcome to Syracuse, NY.

The unpredictable weather has a way of making stressful situations worse than they are. I spent the entire day in the library the other day. When I walked out of my room in the morning, it was hot and sunny - no sign of rain, none in the forecast for the next two days. I left the library about 12 hours later and encountered the pouring rain. To my dismay, I lacked both a jacket and an umbrella. That was the last thing I needed.

The unpredictable weather has a way of making life a little better. I stood in the rain the very next day and looked toward the sky and laughed. I let it wash away everything I was worrying about for just that single moment. Sweet cliché, Ali. It's true though. I felt lighter.

This time of year is stressful for everyone. There is just so much to do and certainly not enough time to do it. I always think the spring semester ends more stressfully (did I make that word up? I'm pretty sure I did) than the fall semester. I'll tell you how we survive it in Syracuse: the sunshine. Seriously, we let sunny days control us up here. My piles of homework watch me from my dorm room window as my friends and I spend time just being outside, letting the sun just soak into our skin. By the time April comes around, it's been so long since the sun made an appearance in Syracuse that we surrender to it.

I think my energy comes back to life along with the rest of the world during spring. It's amazing how much the weather has an effect on how I look at life. I'm not even one of those people that loves sunshine all that much. To be entirely honest, most times I prefer the rain. But Syracuse gets a little carried away with the precipitation that I am just so thankful to feel that warmth.

For some reason, warm days up here are always good days.

Gratitude?

I hear a lot about gratitude every single day. People are always telling me that I should be thankful for what I have because things could be worse. I don't think that that is a good way to look at it at all. Being thankful because there are others in worse positions than I am seems to be an awful way to celebrate life. "I'm grateful because I have great friends and someone else doesn't." Whoa. That's just not sitting well with me.

So I've decided lately that I will be grateful for things as they are. I am grateful for my friends because they are wonderful. And I'm grateful for each and every one of their individual personalities. Every single one of them.

I'm going to be completely honest with you. The blog post about being grateful for good friends is inspired by one friend in particular. So I'm going to focus on that. I have been through a true test of life this week - a test of myself. It's been pretty much a week that I could not handle on my own. And I haven't had to. I'm grateful that I haven't had to handle it on my own.

But most of all, I'm grateful for you. I"m grateful that I was lucky enough to be granted someone who makes me feel worthwhile. I'm so happy that I have someone who can make me smile so easily. I love smiling with you and laughing with you and hugging you. Let's be real for a second: no one's perfect. You're not perfect; I'm not perfect. We both make decisions and choices that our lives would probably be better without. But with us, there's no judgment. There's no lies or sheltering of real feelings. We're open. We're honest. We're real. We're human.

I heard a song today in class that made me think of you. Honestly, it almost moved me to tears because of how much I wanted you to hear these words coming from me. There was not one line that didn't fit.

Thanks for keepin' track of me.
Thanks for givin' a dang about me.
Thanks for sayin' that you love me.
Thanks, just thanks.

Thanks for lettin' me know you care.
Thanks for always bein' there.
Thanks for making me do my share.
Thanks, just thanks.

Can't thank you enough.
I'm high from you liftin' me up.

Thanks for sayin' what you said.
Thanks for clearin' out my head.
Thanks for givin' me hope instead.
Thanks, just thanks.

Can't thank you enough.
I'm high from you liftin' me up.

Thanks, you left me who I was.
Thanks, you showed me what a smile does.
Thanks, you loved me just because.
Thanks, just thanks.

Thanks for cryin' when I bleed.
Thanks for wavin' when I leave.
Thanks for bein' what I believe.
Thanks, just thanks.



I encourage everyone to take a good look at the things around you. Instead of telling you to be grateful for the beauty, for the people, for laughter, for whatever, I'm going to suggest you discover your own things to be grateful for. Let those things catch you off guard. Welcome the surprise.